You can give TabsExtra a try github.com/facelessuser/TabsExtra.
It is a plugin I have been working on to deal with tabs better. It is in Beta. It overrides all the close commands except for
close_file and when you press the
X button on a tab (I cannot physically override the tab button command). It will keep the active tab focused unless you delete it, and then it will default to left or right depending on your user settings.
It also adds "close tabs to left" and "close all" (all tabs in group). You can install an override menu to make these new commands be grouped with the default ones.
It also allows you to make tabs sticky, and then you can close all but the sticky tabs.
Just read the README on the repo page for all the info. If you give it a try and find bugs, just file them on the repo. Not sure when I will call it officially done.